Sex in your eyes = Love and Money?

I can't see the woods... there's no trees!

I had a long chat with a chum yesterday afternoon. And for her, like me, it's all a bit ickly-pickly right now; what with WORK being hard to come by for much of the nation. And besides that we're both completely single; I suggested she get a boyfriend and move him in straight away to help pay the bills. But it's a bit chicken and egg: how to get a boyfriend when you haven't got a job...


And for me: how to get a boyfriend when you've been sleeping in the boxroom next to the toilet for almost a year.


I think we need to have 'sex in our eyes' and look game on, rather than, Oh fuck, game over.

As she rightly said, 'You never used to have problems.'

Well yes, that's because I had sex in my eyes back THEN. If only this whole thing could be worn like contact lenses, then I could say: "Excuse me for one moment,  I think the sex has fallen out of my eyes. I'll just pop the sex back in my eyes. Ah, now I can see.

You know when the sex has fallen out your eyes: Men don't walk past you on the street, they stride past you without even a tiny glance.

Hm less talk of no sex, more talk about no work and no money.


She's not the only bright star that is suffering; summer is not a good time for academics; the universities don't like to pay their bright young associate lecturers, and so many are left trying to find work in places like McDonald's over summer. It's even hard to find work in McDonald's; it's cheaper to hire a 16 year-old than a 30 something with a PhD and a social conscience to boot.


Perhaps a girl should forward plan, hunt for a boyfriend when she is in employment; but then I find that when I'm working, I focus all my energy on work. And I'm always working -- paid or unpaid. Don't give me any of this, 'we don't need men business'. It's true, we don't.

Well, er, for a few things we do. I once read that women who have regular orgasms are more successful.

Anyway, I don't think I've got the hang of all this "how to manage your life business." The older I get, the more complicated it seems. Bringing in the washing in heels, and catching the bus into town for a night out, just don't go hand-in-hand for me. I always fall arse over tit.

At a women's networking event the other week, I asked a financial whizz: 'How do  freelance women, who are managing creative careers, buy houses?' She replied: 'They get married.'

Ah, right.

Um... hang on a minute: I'm just going to do a quick Mori Maria survey. I'm going to quickly think of ten people: right, I've thought of them, and these are people (as might befit Royals) in my 'inner circle', who are in a situation:

1. a. struggling to find work; recent graduate
2. b. manager, approximately 20 years with one company - voluntary redundancy
3. c. super-great person, having hours and wage cut by 40%
4. d. enthusiastic and brilliant community worker; working all sorts of unfamilyfriendly hours for an agency
5. e. man under 60, recovering from cancer, considering selling home, as no work to be found; wedding jewellery sold
6. f. father of two, job switch, lesser pay
7. g. clever scientist mum looking for new job
8. h. clever art historian looking for job
9. i. person with a job, low pay
10 j. person with a job, contract coming to an end.

So, that's a bit bonkers.

The question might be:

Right now, how does anyone buy anything at all?